Dizzy and getting dizzier. She needed a draught of clean air to rinse out her polluted lungs but.

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Impression that even though he was loftily above such trifles as the mere destruction of a siege-train he could yet remember his manners before his inferiors. Yet it was only a moment before he was sneering at himself for relishing such a petty triumph. He felt a sudden self-contempt which even when it passed left him depressed and unhappy. The unhappiness had a special quality; Hornblower laying aside his newspaper to look up at the play of shadows on the bedtester suddenly realised he was lonely. He wanted company. He wanted friendship. Much more than that he wanted comforting he wanted affection he wanted just what he could not have as Governor of this bleak beleaguered city. He bore all the vast weight of responsibility and he had no one to share his fears and hopes. Hornblower pulled himself up on the verge of an abyss of self-pity his self-contempt greatly increased by the discovery..
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